Journals9
Newest
This really peeves me off.
1 min read
My cousin (by marriage) recently got laid for the first time. Ever since that time he has become a great big ss hole! I don't even want to be near him anymore its gotten so bad. Its as if the part of him I liked disappeared once his man-cherry popped. I hate this new him. I hate the fact that he thinks he is so much better than everyone else. Its bull-schnarf! He's become an arrogant pig and it disgusts me. I'm done with him I'm so done.
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I Wish...
1 min read
I wish that my drawings would be good enough for them to be put into the first pieces of art on this site when you sign in. I feel kind of sad knowing nothing i do is good enough...I hope someday they will finally be good enough...
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Love
2 min read
Have you ever been in love? In that debilitating type of love bordering deep infatuation? Many adults tell me that I have no idea what love is, but they don't seem to remember being teenagers themselves. They seem to only remember the deep traumatizing let down of that first break up. They don't remember the good times and all of those good moments they had shared with that special person. All they remember are the fights and the lies that brought about their demise. I still remember the good things; the kisses shared, songs sung, and memories made. Its always the small things forgotten that have been the most important. Those sweet words with that small smirk that made your heart flutter. The first glance your way that made something come alive in your chest. You may shed tears while you remember the fights and the sadness they brought, but with those tears its not the love that goes away. Its the ease of falling in love.
But who remembers that kind of love right. When we live our dreary lives with the pre-apocalypse implanted into our minds. We say the love is gone. We say the happiness left with them. But what do we want? Do we want the perfection we so yearn for? We will never find it, because love is soemthing so flawed that it is beautiful. And no love will ever be perfect...perfection is just a ficitonal story...
People ask me what true love is. True love is a gentle hand holding yours. Its the leaves turning colors in fall. Its the taste of your favorite thing. It sounds like a violin playing Mozart. And feels like you are flying with only something so tiny to hold you up. Small words spoken through closed lips. The feeling that you should be yourself instead of hiding behind the usual mask. That is true love..
Its the craving. The yearning. The burning. Its the one thing we all live for.
But who remembers that kind of love right. When we live our dreary lives with the pre-apocalypse implanted into our minds. We say the love is gone. We say the happiness left with them. But what do we want? Do we want the perfection we so yearn for? We will never find it, because love is soemthing so flawed that it is beautiful. And no love will ever be perfect...perfection is just a ficitonal story...
People ask me what true love is. True love is a gentle hand holding yours. Its the leaves turning colors in fall. Its the taste of your favorite thing. It sounds like a violin playing Mozart. And feels like you are flying with only something so tiny to hold you up. Small words spoken through closed lips. The feeling that you should be yourself instead of hiding behind the usual mask. That is true love..
Its the craving. The yearning. The burning. Its the one thing we all live for.
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Chapter 1
5 min read
Have you ever heard of Dryghtyn? He is the God of everything, and he is also my father. Many people don't know that about him. He loved my mom, and she gave herself up just so I could live. But let me back up before I get ahead of myself. Everything began with them meeting; my mother and father that is. It is a little fuzzy how they met; they didn't show any trace of meeting, yet they had to of met somewhere. My thoughts of how they met are often thought of as odd, but they make perfect sense to me with what I know.
Within my mind my parents are heroes. I know my mother was Chaos, and she was a mass of nothing. Dryghtyn was wandering the empty universe searching for that perfect place to begin something himself. He had already helped the Star People become more advanced in their technology along with their mental strength. But with all of these advancements somewhere, and at some point, someone became jealous. That jealousy ended up in a great war that had horrible destruction, separation, and bloodshed. Dryghtyn witnessed the goings on, and his guilt made him look for that perfect place to help the Star People restart.
During his search he met my mother. She was a mass of potential power, stuck in the silhouetted form of a woman. Her eyes were like dark glowing orbs; suns dormant within her head. Her hair shimmered, yet didn't shimmer. Her body was like a dormant soul, glowing with the longing of what it could be; what it should be. He told me her voice was like was like dead space with that quiver of knowing that made you think of clear blue Eden. When he would try to touch her she would become shy, and her silhouette would shiver and disappear as if it was blown by a wind. She was different, new, mysterious, and he loved her right off the bat. For years she didn't return his affection, she would only talk. He longed for her touch even only holding her dainty hand. He dreamt of walking upon gilded beaches with her among the stars. He made the moon to be her looking glass. He made garments out of clouds that were better than the softest silk. Every time he offered these wondrous things she didn't take them at first. Chaos was afraid, never before had someone offered her gifts. Nothing and no one spoke to her either until Dryghtyn came along. And for the first time, in her hundreds of millenia of being alive, she began to actually feel.
At first the feeling was only a spark, and that spark soon turned into a raging flame. Chaos didn't know how to control these raging emotions, for she never felt like this before. What his intentions were Chaos didn't know, but she knew she didn't want him to go. She never had anyone to talk to growing up. Once the new potential energy was created the old energy was gone, and with this happening Chaos was doomed to grow up alone. This new feeling of friendship, or, even on a deeper level, love, was so kind and generous that she finally felt a warmth in her chest that was never there before. For the first time she realized she was in love, and she would show him the next time they were together.
For the next three years they were together, and during that short time making love was a frequent happening between them. Dryghtyn and Chaos seemed to have been made for each other, and eventually together they created a new planet. But what Dryghtyn didn't know was Chaos was about to learn of her demise.
At the beginning of the fourth year if being together Chaos felt that first kick within her belly. That frightful knowing of something new growing inside of her made he quiver where she lay. She hoped Dryghtyn wouldn't notice, and he never did. Not until it was to late to save her.
It first started with intense pain within her belly, but then it escalated to to devastating pushing and stretching. Dryghtyn helped Chaos the best he could, and during the birthing process he noticed a distinctly disarming change within her. Her hair had become a long flowing waterfall of golden embers that spread out about her like an unborn sun. Her skin became the color of cream and her cheeks became rosy and full. Her eyes had become gentle pools of silverish blue that quickly changed colors to match her rapidly changing moods. She glowed with the finality of finally becoming what she should have been from the beginning. Chaos was finally a mother, but the happiness was short lived, and with her final tired shuddering breath she whispered her newborn daughter's first name. That name was Diana.
Within my mind my parents are heroes. I know my mother was Chaos, and she was a mass of nothing. Dryghtyn was wandering the empty universe searching for that perfect place to begin something himself. He had already helped the Star People become more advanced in their technology along with their mental strength. But with all of these advancements somewhere, and at some point, someone became jealous. That jealousy ended up in a great war that had horrible destruction, separation, and bloodshed. Dryghtyn witnessed the goings on, and his guilt made him look for that perfect place to help the Star People restart.
During his search he met my mother. She was a mass of potential power, stuck in the silhouetted form of a woman. Her eyes were like dark glowing orbs; suns dormant within her head. Her hair shimmered, yet didn't shimmer. Her body was like a dormant soul, glowing with the longing of what it could be; what it should be. He told me her voice was like was like dead space with that quiver of knowing that made you think of clear blue Eden. When he would try to touch her she would become shy, and her silhouette would shiver and disappear as if it was blown by a wind. She was different, new, mysterious, and he loved her right off the bat. For years she didn't return his affection, she would only talk. He longed for her touch even only holding her dainty hand. He dreamt of walking upon gilded beaches with her among the stars. He made the moon to be her looking glass. He made garments out of clouds that were better than the softest silk. Every time he offered these wondrous things she didn't take them at first. Chaos was afraid, never before had someone offered her gifts. Nothing and no one spoke to her either until Dryghtyn came along. And for the first time, in her hundreds of millenia of being alive, she began to actually feel.
At first the feeling was only a spark, and that spark soon turned into a raging flame. Chaos didn't know how to control these raging emotions, for she never felt like this before. What his intentions were Chaos didn't know, but she knew she didn't want him to go. She never had anyone to talk to growing up. Once the new potential energy was created the old energy was gone, and with this happening Chaos was doomed to grow up alone. This new feeling of friendship, or, even on a deeper level, love, was so kind and generous that she finally felt a warmth in her chest that was never there before. For the first time she realized she was in love, and she would show him the next time they were together.
For the next three years they were together, and during that short time making love was a frequent happening between them. Dryghtyn and Chaos seemed to have been made for each other, and eventually together they created a new planet. But what Dryghtyn didn't know was Chaos was about to learn of her demise.
At the beginning of the fourth year if being together Chaos felt that first kick within her belly. That frightful knowing of something new growing inside of her made he quiver where she lay. She hoped Dryghtyn wouldn't notice, and he never did. Not until it was to late to save her.
It first started with intense pain within her belly, but then it escalated to to devastating pushing and stretching. Dryghtyn helped Chaos the best he could, and during the birthing process he noticed a distinctly disarming change within her. Her hair had become a long flowing waterfall of golden embers that spread out about her like an unborn sun. Her skin became the color of cream and her cheeks became rosy and full. Her eyes had become gentle pools of silverish blue that quickly changed colors to match her rapidly changing moods. She glowed with the finality of finally becoming what she should have been from the beginning. Chaos was finally a mother, but the happiness was short lived, and with her final tired shuddering breath she whispered her newborn daughter's first name. That name was Diana.
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Happiness Never Lasts
10 min read
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